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Deal With Temper Tantrums With Good Child Disciplining

Posted By: Sandi Brown on August 30, 2011 at 8:56 am

Disciplining a child having a temper tantrum is one of those very confused areas for many parents. If you are stressing out and really don’t know what to do next you are in good company. Parents world wide are exactly like you.

Temper tantrums are very emotional happenings. They leave both you and your child drained and for you dreading the next one. Unfortunately the very nature of temper tantrums means they happen when you least want them or feel you can cope with them. They always happen when you are already tired or busy and most likely in a public place or when friends or family are visiting.

Why does this happen? Read on and find out what temper tantrums are really about and what you can do when they happen.

On the surface temper tantrums seem to be about the child wanting something that you say no to. It may be sweets in the supermarket, a toy someone else is playing with, a refusal to hold you hand to cross the road, not wanting to get into their car seat, eat the meal in front of them and so the list goes on.

The truth is these are not the cause although they are usually the final event that tipped the scale. It is in fact various forms of stress that lead to temper tantrums.

Stress that builds up has to be released and a full scale tantrum does this very effectively. Although, at the time, it is awful for both the parents and child. After a temper tantrum the child will experience a real calm, often they will fall asleep.

It is rarely possible to stop tantrums in most situations even though that is the one things we as parents want to do. Instead of getting frustrated or angry there are actions you can take that will help you manage the situation.

First you need to understand there are two main types of temper tantrums. The first type is caused by physical stresses and the second one is a control issue. It is important that you learn to recognize the difference between the two.

When children are seeking your attention or don’t get their own way over something their frustration builds up until it becomes a temper tantrum.

In these situations they need you to be very calm and in control yourself. They need acknowledgment that you understand their frustration at not getting what they want but at the same time remaining firm about not giving in to it. You need to empathize but then withdraw, if possible, or continue doing something else.

A different response is needed when the tantrum is caused by physical stresses. Such things as hunger, over tiredness, too much excitement or stimulation can all lead to a stress tantrum. Once the stress has built up you find that the child is no longer able to eat, sleep or relax which is the very thing they actually need. Instead the only release for them is a tantrum. In these situations they need your emotional support, soothing words and comfort until the frightening rage passes. Holding them calmly but firmly helps.

When you know which of these responses you need to give it will help you cope better but you still have to endure the whole ordeal.

There is a better solution and that is to be able to prevent tantrums happening in the first place. To successfully do this you need to learn how and why the stresses build up in the first place and what you can do to manage these.

To find out more about understanding Temper Tantrums and effective child disciplining techniques go to http://www.squidoo.com/childdisciplining today.

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