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Dec

08

Vital Signs: Behavior: Videos of Self-Injury Find an Audience

Posted By: wbhazel1 on December 8, 2011 at 11:04 am

This very interesting and thought provoking article written by Roni Caryn Rabin for The New York Times Health Section refers to an extremely popular form of social media viewed by millions daily: Youtube.

Apparently there are numerous videos on Youtube which portray self mutilation like burning, cutting, disturbing wounds and embedding items under the skin. Many lack warnings and some appear to glamorize this parasuicidal behavior with theme music of sorts. This is important information for helping professionals to know because any of us who treat children and adolescents should know of the nearly cultlike following many have for Youtube videos. This article and the surrounding awareness of social media can help us to ask the questions many of us would never even consider. Please enjoy this article and let the dialogue begin:

William B. Hazel, III,
ACSW, LCSW, LADC

Vital Signs: Behavior: Videos of Self-Injury Find an Audience

    Filed Under: Abuse , Anger , Anger Management , Difficult Emotions , Identity Issues , Individual Treatment , Low Self Esteem , Professional Counselor , Psychiatry , Psychology , PTSD / Trauma , Social Phobia Treatment , Social Work , Unresolved Childhood Issues , Violence Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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Nov

27

Learning to Listen to Distressed Classmates

Posted By: wbhazel1 on November 27, 2011 at 10:38 am

This is article written by Abigail Sullivan Moore for the New York Times is a welcome read as it provides us helping professionals with an ounce of prevention if you will. It discusses a student support center and additional resources for college students who may find that life’s challenges have become a bit unmanageable. There is no need to review recent campus tragedies to know that oft times young people today are under an immense amount of stress and pressure with multiple competing demands and all too often little external support. It is good to know that such resources exist and I’m glad many campuses fully recognize this need.

It is no secret that young people often go to their peers for advice, help or just to be a listening board of sorts. It is refreshing that these peers learn to recognize warning signs of despair AND know how to make it sound ok to seek help from a qualified professional. Please enjoy the article:

William B. Hazel, III,
ACSW, LCSW, LADC

Learning to Listen to Distressed Classmates

    Filed Under: Difficult Emotions , Identity Issues , Individual Treatment , Parenting , Professional Counselor , Psychiatry , Psychology , Social Phobia Treatment , Social Work , Trust Issues , Unresolved Childhood Issues Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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Nov

23

Treating the Traumas Inflicted on Children

Posted By: wbhazel1 on November 23, 2011 at 11:40 am

This Opinion piece was published in The New York Times and written by Bessel A. van der Kolk, a professor of psychiatry at Boston University School of Medicine, is the founder and medical director of the Trauma Center at the Justice Resource Institute.

It raises interesting questions in the mind of this former child protective services professional and should stimulate dialogue from all helping professionals.

Dr. Van Der Kolk speaks of the development and increased understanding of the effects of trauma as experienced in combat but additionally that served through the experience of an invalidating and nonnurturing childhood.

It was distressing to read that President Obama is proposing a reduction by 70% of funding for The National Child Traumatic Stress Network which was created in 2001.

This network was patterned after The National Center for PTDS and serves to study, evaluate and develop treatment for traumatized children nationwide.

I see the policymakers have not yet learned how the least powerful among us are treated is the way we will get it much later.

Please enjoy the reading of this piece and lets get the word out.

William B. Hazel III,
ACSW, LCSW, LADC

Treating the Traumas Inflicted on Children

    Filed Under: Abuse , Individual Treatment , Parenting , Professional Counselor , Psychiatry , Psychology , Social Work , Unresolved Childhood Issues Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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Nov

21

When a Child’s Anxieties Need Sorting

Posted By: wbhazel1 on November 21, 2011 at 11:38 am

This article, written by Abby Ellin of The New York Times was a delight to read as it reflects on perhaps the helping professions most rarest of practitioners.

One would often have an easier time finding hen’s teeth than to secure the services of a competent Board Certified Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist.

This article speaks of such a professional who has been of great service to many of the richest and most powerful individuals in the world: Dr. Howard Koplewicz.

Now having set the stage for a practioner who is personally held in high esteem by governors, a former first lady who also served as a senator and is the current secretary of state I’m sure many reading this introduction would say Who cares?

The rich and powerful have always had the serrvices ofthe best of the best professionals, right?

Well, what struck me about Dr. Koplowicz is he left a cushy position in academe to form The Child Mind Institute which has been operating for approximately a year AND he does pro bono for the traditionally underserved.

To me that makes Dr. Koplowicz worthy of special mention and this article well worthy of publicity.

Dr. Koplewicz’s who has a penchant for schmoozing (a great networker, and fundraiser) is trying to change how child and adolescent pschiatric illnesses are viewed by the public at large.

He seeks to remove the stigma attached and his contributions to the field most welcome.

Please enjoy this article:

William B. Hazel III,
ACSW, LCSW, LADC

When a Child’s Anxieties Need Sorting

    Filed Under: Anxiety / Stress , Anxiety Therapy , Individual Treatment , Parenting , Professional Counselor , Psychiatry , Psychology , Social Work , Unresolved Childhood Issues Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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Sep

04

Supportive Parenting Viewpoints-Many Times This Is All Your Kid Needs

Posted By: Sebastian Pompadour Xavier on September 4, 2011 at 8:20 am

You probably have heard of the saying that “no good deed goes unpunished.” It’s easy to feel the target of that specific saying when you are a parent and are struggling to get your kids ready to face the challenges of the world. All parents are aware of the importance of educating their children in regards to various life skills they will require in the future. It is fascinating to see how long it takes adults to figure out the fact that their parents were teaching them valuable lessons. While they hated learning the lessons themselves, a little bit of maturity shows their appreciation for their lessons.

We all remember our senior year in high school because the light at the end of the tunnel was barely visible. Then in a flash, it seemed like our final year with all of our friends disappeared. So, you know what they are up against and what they are feeling. This is when you should really offer your support, help them out and just be there for them. Positive encouragement will always be accepted, no matter how many times you must give it to your child. Just continue to take notice of how well your child copes with high school ending and eventually having to leave the nest. Then continue to use the parent skills that have perfected to this point. We know that you will handle everything okay.

Depending on their situation, this can make things hard for some parents. We have our faults and shortcomings, yet we want the best for our kids. Even though we have our misgivings, that does not mean we want our children to have them or engage in them, whatever those behaviors happen to be. You may want to have a sit-down with your kids and just explain all of this to them if possible or practicable.

One of the hardest things occurs when teenagers feel like they can criticize their parents in their presence. When this happens the first time, it is very easy to see why a parent would not like it. Obviously, the topic and how it was presented might matter. However, realize that teens instinctively always try to break away from the family environment. Plus, teens need to feel that their opinions and feelings are important, even if we do not always appreciate hearing what they are.

You can impart a little more tough but important love to your children by assigning work for them to do around the home. Obviously, we are talking about both the tween and the teenage years. Chances are that both parents are working outside the home and single parents have to resort to this to get help around the house. But we recommended this because it will let them know that their help is needed at home. Yes, the home team could use a little help. You should tell them why this is done and what you expect them to learn from it. People are usually more responsive when they are told why they are doing something and it makes sense to them. Assuming the parenting duties of introducing new thoughts and behaviors with your teen children may be rocky, at first. All children are different and will learn behaviors in various ways.

One thing that parenting specialists agree on may be the significance about household pets. Family members that have household pets have less stress and anxiousness, simply because the domestic pets function as a standard point of interest. Why not obtain a pet today and enhance your household tranquility?

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    Filed Under: Parenting Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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Aug

28

What It Takes To Guarantee Your Kids’ Security Online

Posted By: Sebastian Pompadour Xavier on August 28, 2011 at 7:57 am

The internet has a lot to offer people of all ages, but it poses certain dangers to children. As valuable a resource as the computer is; it also has some very negative sides when it comes to villains who take advantage of the accessibility to kids, this is where you the parents come in. This affair is disturbing to many, but there are things that can be done to add protection when using the internet. Let’s go over some of the best ways to keep your children safe while they’re surfing the net.

Talk to your children about internet safety. When you are quizzing your kids about what they’ve been up to online, or when you’ve placed specific limits on them, let them know that you’re just doing it because you’re concerned and want to look after them. Even though your children won’t necessarily appreciate you doing this, if they come across a problem they might be more inclined to talk to you about it. Make sure you fully educate them regarding the potential dangers of the internet, as well as educating them about people not always being who they say they are. If you talk openly with your kids regarding any concerns you have, and if you listen to them when they may feel uncomfortable, they’ll be a lot safer.

Parents have always wanted to know who their children’s friends are, who they play with, spend time with after school and the like. Wanting to protect your children from bad things happening, is a good enough reason for this. Knowing what your children are doing online might be even more important for the parent to know. You need to be extra careful online, because the person you are communicating with, probably is not totally truthful. It is important for you and your children to have a record of their online friends, and tell them to never give away information that is too personal. They should never give out their address or home phone number or send pictures of themselves to strangers.

Predators who seek out children online may do so in many different environments, but the most likely place they’ll be lurking is chatrooms. You will almost certainly have a predator contact you, if you are a child going into a chatroom, as reported by the FBI. Unfortunately, this sad fact of modern life is true. Younger children do not belong in chatrooms, because they are not old enough to know who to trust, especially without supervision. The internet, especially chatrooms, is not a very trusting place, and children need to learn not to believe what anyone tells them, and watch what they reveal online. Another area to watch carefully is AOL Instant Messenger, because, next to chatrooms, this is where predators are looking for children.

If you want to protect your child better then make sure you are familiar with all their online activities. If your child tries to stop you from getting involved online with them, then you need to make it clear to them that you want to know what they are doing and who they are talking to when they are online. You do not need to live in fear about this but it is sensible for you to take basic precautions.

Parenting is very difficult, but one thing which will help quite a bit is that if you possess a family pet, specifically a puppy dog. That will give everybody a common point to focus on whenever things get challenging. Why don’t you have a look at your neighborhood pet store right now?

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    Filed Under: Parenting Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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Aug

25

Spending Additional Quality Time With Your Spouse

Posted By: Meredith Steele on August 25, 2011 at 8:40 am

Although your spouse is one of the most important people in your life, many people tend to take their husband or wife for granted. However, most times this is done innocently enough, with the thinking that your spouse will understand, always placing a higher priority on the other areas of your life can be damaging to a marriage. Even people with very busy schedules can find a way to spend more time together if they really try.

Rather than frittering away your life on pointless things, like slumping in front of the box at the end of the day, you need to have some time with your partner just to chat with each other. This doesn’t have to be a deep and meaningful, but just a little bit of time for you to spend with each other every day to maintain your relationship.

Constant communication is essential in any given relationship. If you know you’re both going to be busy or preoccupied in the evening, it’s a great idea to spend some time talking with each other at the beginning of the day over a coffee.

Usually, just this small bit of effort to make time for one another will show the two of you that you both still care, and still have a vested interest in the relationship.

Choosing one night of the week as a “date night” can also be a good way of showing your commitment to spending more quality time together. Although the evening doesn’t have to be anything complicated or elaborate, just setting the time aside to do something together as a couple is can make a big difference in a relationship.

It’s also important to be flexible when necessary to accommodate the other person’s needs. Although it’s important to set time aside to spend together, emergencies and extenuating circumstances do occur.

If you need to break a date with your husband or wife, it is important to apologize and arrange another time. If the opposite scenario occurs, be understanding. The two of you will need to be flexible in order to make this work.

Marriage is tough, and there will be undoubtedly some hard times, but it’s important to spend time with the person you chose as your life partner.

This individual has been blogging about relationships for the past seven years. Moreover, the writer loves writing on more subjects, like a key safe and a key ring.

    Filed Under: Marriage and Family Therapist Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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Aug

18

Parenting Strategies For Single Fathers

Posted By: Patronus Lucinda Xavier on August 18, 2011 at 9:19 am

Parenting can often seem like the ultimate challenge because they never stop coming it seems. As well as the usual routine, there are circumstances that may arise that require a journey with your little ones. In spite of the circumstances, you are the sole person your kids depend on when doing family stuff. Any time there are little things that come up; you the parent have the good fortune to take care of it. Not matter how well organized you think you are, there is usually at least one thing that may have gone unnoticed. Of course, this would be the one thing that would surface and keep the ‘never a dull moment’ apparent.

Traveling with a baby requires that you be a master planner and coordinator. Besides that, you can likely plan on the most simple situation turning into something more; plus it seems as if you need to cram enough stuff to last you forever. A few tips for traveling with your baby include simple and common sense suggestions. Diapers – we promise that you will probably need more than you think, so be sure to carry a little more than you think you will need. When you are able, schedule your trip to coincide with you child’s daily routine. Sometimes the original plan may have a few hitches; it is always good to have a different plan to fall back on if necessary. At times on a trip things may not be going as planned, you need to have every base covered as much as possible.

Indeed, there will be times when you aren’t sure of the best thing to do straight away and you’ll be challenged as not only a father but a single parent as well. Sometimes you may find it helpful to have a network of friends who can be there to assist you. Support groups for single dads or parents might be something you may want to consider. It’s easy to find these kinds of groups on the internet and locally. On the internet you’ll most certainly find networks of single parents. You’ll be able to talk with another parent who has experienced whatever you are currently facing. So asking for some assistance shouldn’t make you feel awkward.

Collaboration is crucial when you are in a joint venture raising children. Although it is necessary for older people, it is crucial for the kids. You along with your partner can diminish a lot of your trauma. We advise a constructive and up beat exchange always. Case in point, the majority of parents have their own set of values in mind for their children. Just remember to try to get your thoughts aligned with your partners thoughts. It is crucial that you not make the other parent look bad.

Babies offer special parenting challenges, and you may already know that if you are a parent. However, learning to cope and successfully raise your baby into the formative years and later is rewarding and fun, nonetheless.

It is essential in almost any household to take a break once in a while. Going on a vacation with each other can definitely enhance your relationships. One particular great place to visit is Vegas, because they have plenty of activities for folks of all ages. Seek advice from your travel agent for more information.

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    Filed Under: Parenting Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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Aug

14

Tough Parenting Affection – Instructing Your Children

Posted By: Charles Chisato Xavier on August 14, 2011 at 9:09 am

There is a saying along the lines of nothing good you do will go unpunished. When trying to prepare our children for the challenges of the world and trying to be parents to them, it feels as if that saying targets us specifically. Of course, we all understand what it means to teach our kids various skills they will need. Seeing that it takes a while for adults to grasp the idea that their parents were teaching the valuable life lessons is quite interesting. Sometimes they hated it every step of the way and then later appreciated the lesson once they gained a little maturity.

None of us can forget our last year of high school because we could finally see just a taste of freedom. Then before we could count to ten, it seem like our final year hanging out with all of our friends just seemed vanish. So, you know exactly what they feel and what they face on an almost daily basis. This is the time of their life when you should be supportive by offering your advice and being very much a part of their lives. Positive encouragement is always a good thing regardless of how many times you have to reassure them. Just keep a watch at how well your child deals with the fact that high school is ending and they will be leaving the nest. Then, do what you know is best, and after all those years of parenting. We have confidence that you will do okay.

If they know what’s going on, children and people of all ages tend to be more cooperative. You need to understand that it requires you to be transparent and open about different situations and decisions you made if you want to succeed.

Once they have proved that they are responsible, you can begin the discussion with your child about them having a job. Any kind of freedom is always wanted, but for teenagers with jobs, the biggest benefit has to be spending their paychecks the way they want. Learn to get along with others on a superficial level is another important thing for your teenager to learn as they work outside of the home. It’s never too early to start teaching your children about managing their finances.

In other articles, we have tackled the importance of encouraging teens to get summer jobs as a way to gain experience and learn some vital lessons. Managing money and being responsible are the two lessons that need to be learned here. You have to sit your child down and make sure they are prepared to have the conversation about the topic. Ask them how they feel about putting some savings away, and then be sure you listen to what they have to say. They will be able to learn a lot about money by having to deal with the consequences of their decisions when it comes to money. If they spend all their money, don’t give them anything so they understand what the consequences of their decision is. Parenting at home can be beneficial, especially when dealing with certain types of experiences. For example, we talked about managing money and letting them make their decisions. Even if they spend every penny, they’ll still be safe. Spending all their money will make them realize how frustrating it is not to be able to do something because they don’t have a dim.

To help make it easier to raise a household, you must have control of your money. This will make everything simpler. A good way to do this is to have a checking account, as it permits you much more control over your money. Seek advice from your neighborhood bank for more information.

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    Filed Under: Parenting Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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Aug

07

How To Get Over The Many Challenges Of Parenting

Posted By: Rubidoux Tiberius Xavier on August 7, 2011 at 8:15 am

Unless you are a parent, you don’t know how difficult child rearing can be. People know the children can go astray, but we still have to love them through thick and thin. Our kids have their unique personalities, and part of the joy of the experience is watching it unfold. Kids developing and changing over time allows us to see the differences between them, especially if we are raising more than one. So if you’re having your first child, don’t worry about doing it just right and just go with the flow. Everything that you do every day is something to learn from which will help you become a better parent. Sharing from our experience, take this advice and hopefully it will help you as you begin to raise your family.

While many parents have trouble coping with the behavior of their toddlers, you actually have several choices available to you. You can use the fact that these young children have very short attention spans to your advantage. Distracting your toddler towards something new and less troublesome, then, is the simplest and often the most successful strategy. There’s a good chance that you’ve stumbled upon this method through your own experience, as many parents do. There is such a natural and almost logical thinking behind it. The idea is to divert your toddler the moment he or she is beginning to act up. With practice, you should be able to identify which objects or activities work best for this purpose.

It’s always best to create firm and consistent boundaries that your children know they have to stay within. This actually enables the child to feel much more secure and grounded. Do your best to make your children understand why these rules or limits are necessary. You can hope that your children will respect these limits, but you realistically have to expect that this won’t always be the case. So just accept it because fighting it will only cause friction and stress. When you do set up a certain rule, you have to make your children aware that it’s meant to be followed at all times.

There’s no point in creating rules or standards for your children to follow if they can get away with ignoring them with no repercussions. In other words, there has to be consistency between what you tell your kids about consequences and what you actually do when they break the rules. Some parents allow their children to avoid consequences by crying or begging, and this undermines any attempts at discipline. Once you establish this kind of precedent, your children will know exactly what they have to do to avoid consequences. The important thing is to be consistent, so that your children will learn that it’s futile to try to avoid the rules and consequences you’ve laid down. It’s really essential that children grow up understanding that they can’t get away with disregarding rules, and as a parent you’re the one who they should learn this from.

When you think about parenting, it really becomes quite clear that much is common sense. Remember that even if being a parent seems new and strange to you, you can always draw on your own early years for guidance. Your memories and experiences can be drawn upon, and this is often very helpful. Both you and your children can benefit from what you’ve picked up, so keep this handy.

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