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After Rough Beginning, a Great-Granddaughter, 3, Blossoms

Posted By: wbhazel1 on December 15, 2011 at 10:00 am

This article was written by Jennifer Mascia of The New York Times and is a heartwarming story about a great grandmother who in her twilight years is raising a three year old.

The story encompasses something for helping professionals of every hue: Domestic violence, substance abuse, severe and chronic mental health issues thrown in with transcultural and generational issues.

Please enjoy this article.

William B. Hazel, III,

After Rough Beginning, a Great-Granddaughter, 3, Blossoms

    Filed Under: Abuse , Anger , Anger Management , Anxiety / Stress , Anxiety Therapy , Individual Treatment , Parenting , Professional Counselor , Psychiatry , Psychology , Social Work , Unresolved Childhood Issues , Violence Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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For the Developmentally Disabled, Harm in Safe Havens

Posted By: wbhazel1 on November 25, 2011 at 10:33 am

This article written by Danny Hakim for The New York Times reported on a subject which merits periodic review and if you’ll pardon my phrase dusting off. It discusses that subsequent to the desinstitualization or the closure of the former facilities (old warehouses) of the developmentally disabled the patients unable to be maintained at home with family were placed in community settings. Within these community settings are state employees who are at times untrained in the appropriate care of patients. This article reveals some staff have criminal convictions to include crimes of violence either related to or unrelated to their state jobs. This article discusses assaults, neglect, sexual abuse and other improprieties perpetrated by staff on the residents of these group homes. It reviews the relative inefficiency, mismanagement, fraud, waste and abuse by managerial personnel. It discloses an instance of efforts at whistleblowing to The Office of The Governor as well as state agencies which purportedly ensure the appropriate protection, care and safety of these clients. These whistleblowing efforts apparently have been met by retaliatory efforts by those exposed. This article should stimulate discussion and debate hopefully leading to much needed change! Please enjoy the article:

William B. Hazel, III,

For the Developmentally Disabled, Harm in Safe Havens

    Filed Under: Abuse , Individual Treatment , Professional Counselor , Psychiatry , Psychology , PTSD / Trauma , Reality , Social Work , Trust Issues , Violence , Work Related Issues Tagged with , , , , , , , , ,
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Ricky Wyatt, 57, Dies; Plaintiff in Landmark Mental Care Suit

Posted By: wbhazel1 on November 6, 2011 at 7:22 am

This article was written by Douglas Martin of The New York Times and I am trying to give it the widest dissemination possible.

It is a significant event in the world of mental health. as it reports on the death of a great contributor to the world of mental health.

Ricky Wyatt, age 57 was not a psychiatrist, psychologist, social worker, marriage or family therapist or any of the people we generally consider contributors to our field. He was however integral to our professions and greatly informed the practice of millions.

Ricky Wyatt was … a patient.

Mr. Wyatt many years ago was a patient in an infamous state hospital where despite never having been diagnosed or having been misdiagnosed by incompetent practioners was hospitalized essentially on the say so of a juvenile probation officer and agreed to by his aunt (guardian).

He became the lead plaintiff in a class action federal lawsuit which protested conditions of care at that state institution and in 1971 led to a landmark decision which forever changed the framework around how we do business.

I found this article rivetting as I am sure you will also.

Please enjoy this article:

William B. Hazel, III, ACSW, LCSW, LADC

Ricky Wyatt, 57, Dies; Plaintiff in Landmark Mental Care Suit

    Filed Under: Abuse , Anxiety / Stress , Depression , Depression Therapy , Difficult Emotions , Family Treatment , Group Treatment , Identity Issues , Individual Treatment , Low Self Esteem , Panic Attack Therapy , Professional Counselor , Psychiatry , Psychology , PTSD / Trauma , Social Work , Treatment modality , Trust Issues , Unresolved Childhood Issues Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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Sabotaging Success, but to What End?

Posted By: wbhazel1 on October 11, 2011 at 2:29 pm

This article written by Dr. Richard A. Friedman, MD and published in The New York Times covers a phenomenon which we in the helping professions see all the time. There are individuals who appear by all accounts to study and work very hard to achieve a measure of success only to sabotage it prior to reaching that all elusive goal of success. Many opine that it is due to a fear of success or the unshakable sense that they are not worthy. We probably all know people who play this role out in life, not just our clients, patients or consumers but our family members, neighbors, friends or colleagues. Is it us?

Books, professional journals and magazine articles are all written and read to examine and dissect the self fulfilling prophecy of failure. My viewpoint on human behavior is quite simple: All behavior serves a purpose and provides a sense of satisfaction. If a behavior provides no reward people simply stop doing it.

The task of us helping professionals is to find out what it is that people want and help them achieve it. If their stated position does not equal their demonstrated behavior then something must change. This is in large part the philosophy which supports most therapies. Cognitive behavioral therapy for example is based on the simple premise “change the viewing and you’ll change the doing”. Enjoy the article.

Sabotaging Success, but to What End?

How to not sabotage success

Trent Nelson of Infinite Healing discusses how to not sabotage yourself when you have success in your life.

Darryl Cross – Self Sabotage

Learn to stop self sabotage @

    Filed Under: Abuse , Anxiety / Stress , Anxiety Therapy , Depression , Depression Therapy , Difficult Emotions , Identity Issues , Individual Treatment , Low Self Esteem , Mood Fluctuation , Panic Attack Therapy , Professional Counselor , Psychiatry , Psychology , PTSD / Trauma , Reality , Relationship Problems , Social Phobia Treatment , Social Work , Trust Issues , Unresolved Childhood Issues , Violence , Work Related Issues Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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Supportive Parenting Viewpoints-Many Times This Is All Your Kid Needs

Posted By: Sebastian Pompadour Xavier on September 4, 2011 at 8:20 am

You probably have heard of the saying that “no good deed goes unpunished.” It’s easy to feel the target of that specific saying when you are a parent and are struggling to get your kids ready to face the challenges of the world. All parents are aware of the importance of educating their children in regards to various life skills they will require in the future. It is fascinating to see how long it takes adults to figure out the fact that their parents were teaching them valuable lessons. While they hated learning the lessons themselves, a little bit of maturity shows their appreciation for their lessons.

We all remember our senior year in high school because the light at the end of the tunnel was barely visible. Then in a flash, it seemed like our final year with all of our friends disappeared. So, you know what they are up against and what they are feeling. This is when you should really offer your support, help them out and just be there for them. Positive encouragement will always be accepted, no matter how many times you must give it to your child. Just continue to take notice of how well your child copes with high school ending and eventually having to leave the nest. Then continue to use the parent skills that have perfected to this point. We know that you will handle everything okay.

Depending on their situation, this can make things hard for some parents. We have our faults and shortcomings, yet we want the best for our kids. Even though we have our misgivings, that does not mean we want our children to have them or engage in them, whatever those behaviors happen to be. You may want to have a sit-down with your kids and just explain all of this to them if possible or practicable.

One of the hardest things occurs when teenagers feel like they can criticize their parents in their presence. When this happens the first time, it is very easy to see why a parent would not like it. Obviously, the topic and how it was presented might matter. However, realize that teens instinctively always try to break away from the family environment. Plus, teens need to feel that their opinions and feelings are important, even if we do not always appreciate hearing what they are.

You can impart a little more tough but important love to your children by assigning work for them to do around the home. Obviously, we are talking about both the tween and the teenage years. Chances are that both parents are working outside the home and single parents have to resort to this to get help around the house. But we recommended this because it will let them know that their help is needed at home. Yes, the home team could use a little help. You should tell them why this is done and what you expect them to learn from it. People are usually more responsive when they are told why they are doing something and it makes sense to them. Assuming the parenting duties of introducing new thoughts and behaviors with your teen children may be rocky, at first. All children are different and will learn behaviors in various ways.

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    Filed Under: Parenting Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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What It Takes To Guarantee Your Kids’ Security Online

Posted By: Sebastian Pompadour Xavier on August 28, 2011 at 7:57 am

The internet has a lot to offer people of all ages, but it poses certain dangers to children. As valuable a resource as the computer is; it also has some very negative sides when it comes to villains who take advantage of the accessibility to kids, this is where you the parents come in. This affair is disturbing to many, but there are things that can be done to add protection when using the internet. Let’s go over some of the best ways to keep your children safe while they’re surfing the net.

Talk to your children about internet safety. When you are quizzing your kids about what they’ve been up to online, or when you’ve placed specific limits on them, let them know that you’re just doing it because you’re concerned and want to look after them. Even though your children won’t necessarily appreciate you doing this, if they come across a problem they might be more inclined to talk to you about it. Make sure you fully educate them regarding the potential dangers of the internet, as well as educating them about people not always being who they say they are. If you talk openly with your kids regarding any concerns you have, and if you listen to them when they may feel uncomfortable, they’ll be a lot safer.

Parents have always wanted to know who their children’s friends are, who they play with, spend time with after school and the like. Wanting to protect your children from bad things happening, is a good enough reason for this. Knowing what your children are doing online might be even more important for the parent to know. You need to be extra careful online, because the person you are communicating with, probably is not totally truthful. It is important for you and your children to have a record of their online friends, and tell them to never give away information that is too personal. They should never give out their address or home phone number or send pictures of themselves to strangers.

Predators who seek out children online may do so in many different environments, but the most likely place they’ll be lurking is chatrooms. You will almost certainly have a predator contact you, if you are a child going into a chatroom, as reported by the FBI. Unfortunately, this sad fact of modern life is true. Younger children do not belong in chatrooms, because they are not old enough to know who to trust, especially without supervision. The internet, especially chatrooms, is not a very trusting place, and children need to learn not to believe what anyone tells them, and watch what they reveal online. Another area to watch carefully is AOL Instant Messenger, because, next to chatrooms, this is where predators are looking for children.

If you want to protect your child better then make sure you are familiar with all their online activities. If your child tries to stop you from getting involved online with them, then you need to make it clear to them that you want to know what they are doing and who they are talking to when they are online. You do not need to live in fear about this but it is sensible for you to take basic precautions.

Parenting is very difficult, but one thing which will help quite a bit is that if you possess a family pet, specifically a puppy dog. That will give everybody a common point to focus on whenever things get challenging. Why don’t you have a look at your neighborhood pet store right now?

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    Filed Under: Parenting Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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The Best Ways To Start Enjoying Youngster Rearing If You Are Having A Hard Time Right Now

Posted By: Lebronski Kuwada Xavier on August 24, 2011 at 8:06 am

If you are a parent, no doubt it has run through your mind that the way that you do your parenting has a lot to do with how you were raised. How you parent is usually the sum total of the experiences that you received or experienced with your own parents. By making a point to learn productive child raising skills, you will spare your own children of any bad experiences that you might have experienced early in your life. Of course we believe that is a worthy endeavor and all prospective parents should do this. The best inheritance that you can ever give your children is to become a role model as a positive parent, something that they will share with their own children later in life.

Every person on this planet is unique, and your children are no different, therefore you need to be cognizant of their uniqueness and learn more about them everyday. Sometimes people make the mistake of actually believing that by watching their kids they are actually learning about them. The only way you can be helpful as a parent is to actually understand how your kids think and know more about their personalities inside. Important things to look for include areas of life where they are having challenges and difficulties. Then you will be in a much better position to provide support in all activities whether they are academic, sports related or anything else.

The personality of each of your children has a lot to do with the types of subjects that they will be more or less interested in. Your kids internal molecular structure plays a large role in whether or not they are academically oriented or choose a different direction. All kids are different; some will enjoy school very much and others will not handle school well at all. Once you understand a little bit more about your children and how their personalities are, you can be there to help them along the way. Obviously each child needs to at least understand the value of successfully completing high school. And if they are having problems, always let them know that they can get tutoring help along the way.

Most kids want to succeed in school, and when they start to have a hard time, it will show up in their emotional state. If your child is falling behind, you should be prepared for them to feel depressed, sad, and a range of other negative emotions. Or, if they are called upon during class and do not know the answers, and then perhaps other students laugh or taunt them. By being aware of what is going on, you can be a positive influence in their lives and a helping hand at the same time. One way you can do this is to sit down and have a talk with them about what is going on and how you can help. Your kids also need to know that they can express their feelings, and if they need help it will be available.

Strong parenting skills and strategies consist of as much awareness as possible about your children and the events in their lives which means usually at school. Solid, mutual and positive communications are essential so possible issues do not escalate.

Several individuals find that seeing shows or films together is a great approach to generate shared encounters. This is especially valid for motion pictures and performances that show a confident moral concept. The Lion King, by Disney, is a superb illustration. Look into the Lion King today for amazing benefits.

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    Filed Under: Parenting Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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Tough Parenting Love – Teaching Your Kids

Posted By: Lebronski Kuwada Xavier on August 20, 2011 at 8:59 am

You will have to handle a lot of difficult challenges when your little one transforms into a teenager. This is a part of life that both of you will have to deal with. This is something that neither of you can run away from. But, we do not view this as all doom and gloom… not at all. Your teenager’s high school years should be a fun time for both of you. There will be both new things that will perplex you as well as those that bring about new opportunities. You have to figure out what is possible with your teen and provide them with more experiences that they can handle. But, all of these things are supposed to transform them into dutiful and able adults whenever they grow up and leave home.

None of us can forget about our senior year in high school because we could finally see a taste of what was going to happen. Then it seemed like our last year with our friends was gone before we knew it. So, you know exactly what they feel and what they face on an almost daily basis. This is when you should really offer your support, help them out and just be there for them. Encouragement will always be welcomed, no matter how many times you have to offer it. Just take a look at how well your child deals with leaving home. Then continue to draw upon those parenting skills that have managed to keep you afloat for this amount of time. We know that you will handle everything okay.

One of the most difficult times for a parent is when their teenage children think that they can tell them about the things that they are doing wrong. When this begins to happen the first few times, most parents would not be happy about it. Obviously, the topic and how it was presented might matter. However, realize that teens instinctively always try to break away from the family environment. In addition, teens have to think that what they think and feel really matters, even if we disagree with them.

Children can be very reasonable, and if they feel they are helping you in some important way, then their love for you and natural empathy will compel them to understand. You might see the importance of this approach after thinking of all possible scenarios, which might allow you to see the value in this approach.

One of the most damaging feelings any child can experience, besides not feeling loved, is trying to feel they are accepted for who they are. Even as adults, we know what it is like to be accepted for who we really are. Plus, we all have had children and maybe there were a few things we had a hard time accepting about them. But, nothing changes because they will continue to be our children, no matter what. Hopefully, all parents will advise their children that they are loved unconditionally and will always be welcomed in their home. The outside world will deal with them differently, but home is different too. Assuming the parenting duties of introducing new thoughts and behaviors with your teen children may be rocky, at first. Parents and their kids are all different and will adapt to some behaviors and not others.

Investing time together will help any kind of household. One great way to get this done is to see a show or a film together which shows some sort of moral concept. A fantastic example is Disney’s Lion King. This can be a fantastic program that a lot of families watch together.

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    Filed Under: Parenting Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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Tough Parenting Affection – Instructing Your Children

Posted By: Charles Chisato Xavier on August 14, 2011 at 9:09 am

There is a saying along the lines of nothing good you do will go unpunished. When trying to prepare our children for the challenges of the world and trying to be parents to them, it feels as if that saying targets us specifically. Of course, we all understand what it means to teach our kids various skills they will need. Seeing that it takes a while for adults to grasp the idea that their parents were teaching the valuable life lessons is quite interesting. Sometimes they hated it every step of the way and then later appreciated the lesson once they gained a little maturity.

None of us can forget our last year of high school because we could finally see just a taste of freedom. Then before we could count to ten, it seem like our final year hanging out with all of our friends just seemed vanish. So, you know exactly what they feel and what they face on an almost daily basis. This is the time of their life when you should be supportive by offering your advice and being very much a part of their lives. Positive encouragement is always a good thing regardless of how many times you have to reassure them. Just keep a watch at how well your child deals with the fact that high school is ending and they will be leaving the nest. Then, do what you know is best, and after all those years of parenting. We have confidence that you will do okay.

If they know what’s going on, children and people of all ages tend to be more cooperative. You need to understand that it requires you to be transparent and open about different situations and decisions you made if you want to succeed.

Once they have proved that they are responsible, you can begin the discussion with your child about them having a job. Any kind of freedom is always wanted, but for teenagers with jobs, the biggest benefit has to be spending their paychecks the way they want. Learn to get along with others on a superficial level is another important thing for your teenager to learn as they work outside of the home. It’s never too early to start teaching your children about managing their finances.

In other articles, we have tackled the importance of encouraging teens to get summer jobs as a way to gain experience and learn some vital lessons. Managing money and being responsible are the two lessons that need to be learned here. You have to sit your child down and make sure they are prepared to have the conversation about the topic. Ask them how they feel about putting some savings away, and then be sure you listen to what they have to say. They will be able to learn a lot about money by having to deal with the consequences of their decisions when it comes to money. If they spend all their money, don’t give them anything so they understand what the consequences of their decision is. Parenting at home can be beneficial, especially when dealing with certain types of experiences. For example, we talked about managing money and letting them make their decisions. Even if they spend every penny, they’ll still be safe. Spending all their money will make them realize how frustrating it is not to be able to do something because they don’t have a dim.

To help make it easier to raise a household, you must have control of your money. This will make everything simpler. A good way to do this is to have a checking account, as it permits you much more control over your money. Seek advice from your neighborhood bank for more information.

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How To Get Over The Many Challenges Of Parenting

Posted By: Rubidoux Tiberius Xavier on August 7, 2011 at 8:15 am

Unless you are a parent, you don’t know how difficult child rearing can be. People know the children can go astray, but we still have to love them through thick and thin. Our kids have their unique personalities, and part of the joy of the experience is watching it unfold. Kids developing and changing over time allows us to see the differences between them, especially if we are raising more than one. So if you’re having your first child, don’t worry about doing it just right and just go with the flow. Everything that you do every day is something to learn from which will help you become a better parent. Sharing from our experience, take this advice and hopefully it will help you as you begin to raise your family.

While many parents have trouble coping with the behavior of their toddlers, you actually have several choices available to you. You can use the fact that these young children have very short attention spans to your advantage. Distracting your toddler towards something new and less troublesome, then, is the simplest and often the most successful strategy. There’s a good chance that you’ve stumbled upon this method through your own experience, as many parents do. There is such a natural and almost logical thinking behind it. The idea is to divert your toddler the moment he or she is beginning to act up. With practice, you should be able to identify which objects or activities work best for this purpose.

It’s always best to create firm and consistent boundaries that your children know they have to stay within. This actually enables the child to feel much more secure and grounded. Do your best to make your children understand why these rules or limits are necessary. You can hope that your children will respect these limits, but you realistically have to expect that this won’t always be the case. So just accept it because fighting it will only cause friction and stress. When you do set up a certain rule, you have to make your children aware that it’s meant to be followed at all times.

There’s no point in creating rules or standards for your children to follow if they can get away with ignoring them with no repercussions. In other words, there has to be consistency between what you tell your kids about consequences and what you actually do when they break the rules. Some parents allow their children to avoid consequences by crying or begging, and this undermines any attempts at discipline. Once you establish this kind of precedent, your children will know exactly what they have to do to avoid consequences. The important thing is to be consistent, so that your children will learn that it’s futile to try to avoid the rules and consequences you’ve laid down. It’s really essential that children grow up understanding that they can’t get away with disregarding rules, and as a parent you’re the one who they should learn this from.

When you think about parenting, it really becomes quite clear that much is common sense. Remember that even if being a parent seems new and strange to you, you can always draw on your own early years for guidance. Your memories and experiences can be drawn upon, and this is often very helpful. Both you and your children can benefit from what you’ve picked up, so keep this handy.

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